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Dec. 5th, 2016

Today a man, one of the greeters at church told me that Jesus loves me. That day I was feeling particularly sinful because I hadn't done the bsf lessons that we'll, the week b before, and I was had just finished listening to a lecture that touched v on living in sin. Which I am gay and v sometimes I worry about not being Christian even though I believe myself to be because I am gay and b should that nullify my commitment to Jesus?
But that ma n, he told v me that Jesus loves me and he grabbed my hand and v liked me in b the eyes when he said that.

I don't feel like I am pasing my math class. It upets me that I will fail this class. It will be the first math class I have failed since high school. Odd, how the class is not over yet but I say these things like they are predisposed to happen.
Does that mean they will because I have percieved it to happen.
Tonight I need to find my previous tests so I can ask questions.

You know what is a theme with me? When I believe that I am a failure it is common thinking in my brain to describe how I feel. I used that to identify what I was feeling so that I could expose it rather than dwell on it, the negative viewpoint.
I did that today when my boss told me I had not noticed something I should have over 2 days ago. I went ahead and believed him v and I told myself a number of negative self hatred talks. Then I ended v it by pointing a productive turn around for what my boss had pointed out.



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