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Last week began like any other; me horribly tired and not too willing to be at work. Too bad that I spent the whole week eating once a day which drove me down that weirdo emotional spiral that typically happens every 6 months. That thing, the spiral, turns me into a very self loathing person for a while. It starts out as not being able to eat. I do eat (i.e. one bag of fruit snacks, one piece of toast, a cup of coffee, half a bottle of water for a 24 hour period), sometimes I'll eat half of my moms dinner since she only ever eats half of what fits onto the center of a bread plate anyways. When I stop eating I start to get nauseous (a side effect from starving myself at a young age), I don't feel hunger anymore or get a grumbly tummy. The first step is dry throat and nausea to a headache. On Thursday night I started eating again and I've had a good three days of eating two or three times a day. It feels like, to me, that eating every few hours is fine, but if I go more than two without anything I morph into a slump that hates eating and won't do it. Speaking of this issue is weird since I don't typically write out what it is I go through with my eating habits (the nonexistent ones) except in a sarcastic tone with friends.
I honestly don't know the answer to getting myself on the right track for eating.



August 2017

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